I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
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