I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
