I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Randomize