at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You need Xanax blowdarts
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
