It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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