Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize