I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
