could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I want to fling myself into the sun
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
