Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
