bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
