She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
