its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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