Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
