I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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