I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
