My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i permit you to call me
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The air was thick with penises
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
