i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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