It's like God shit irony all over that family
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
