You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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