how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
The uberlube is also flammable
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize