i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I have fence marks all over my body
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
