So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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