saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
