We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
