Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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