Grow some girl-balls and come out already
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
