I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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