Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize