Non-Jews are for practice
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
