is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
