Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
