about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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