If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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