Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
