I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
