How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
