Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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