Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
