the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
i need some magic done to my vagina
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
