I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
North Korea, Best Korea!
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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