new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
