id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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