She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
