She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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