I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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