Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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