Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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