Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
