After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
