I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
