I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
