i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I just blew my weed a kiss
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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