Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
