Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
This is my gift to your gina
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
