so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
