Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
