David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
