i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
