no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
