Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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