i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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